11/20/2023

01

I don't have the life for an increasing number of things.
And when I say,
"I don't have the life for them,"
I am also saying,
"They don't have the life for me
that they once had."

Traveling, for instance. 
Driving to the mountains or to the beach
for the weekend,
or for a week. 

People.
Going to a dinner party.
Or a wedding.

I have a growing awareness of a decreasing amount
of available life energy,
and feel the need to conserve it
for the things that mean the most to me
here and now--
not what used to mean the most to me,
but what means the most to me right here, right now.

Reading, for instance.
Writing.
Working with photographs,
with my "body of work" photographs,
pulling them off external hard drives,
processing them anew,
publishing them on ClickASnap
and WordPress.

I will step into my eightieth year  in a bit over a month.
I'm keenly aware of not wanting to waste any time,
and that means having plenty of time 
for looking out the window,
and very little for socializing.

"Making the most of the time"
means paying attention,
being aware,
looking closer to the things that catch my eye,
that pique my interest,
that call my name.

Potato soup is doing that these days.
And looking out the window.

02